Mother do you know?
I never cry in front
Of anyone.
I break off the skin
on my finger
I press my lips to it
smothering the bleed.
Mother do you know?
I never know how to
look you in the eye.
I eye my untied laces
they obey me, mother-
saving me the expense
of expression.
Mother do you know?
the day you last combed my hair
I saw fear in your eyes
well, I’ve been plenty of fun mother
it’s marked everywhere on my body
Mother do you know?
I can lie ever so still on my bed
hand on my chest
trying to ascertain
whether I'll die in my sleep.
I turn on my sides
I listen to my heartbeat
against my folded hands
I pray, it never stops.
I pray, I never know-
what other sounds haunt the night.
Mother do you know?
you are my shining light.
Us women
we are children for a short while
but mother, mother did you know
I haven't been sleeping for a while
did you see the hands on me
you must have, right?
clawing my neck
pressing my breasts
slipping down my dress.
you must have seen, mother.
So why didn't you say anything?
Why weren’t your arms around me?
Why won’t you touch me anymore?
Mother, do you know?