why?
why can't i breathe?
this suffocating hatred
is it even mine?
when?
when did i learn to be this cruel?
venom laced words
like glass shards
cutting my soul deeper and deeper
unrelenting
as i color my world crimson.
is this even me?
i can't tell
for the person in my memory
never knew such violent symphonies
serenading unassuming fools with my curse
as they sleep and dream
unaware of the destruction hovering
this person in the mirror
familiar yet unknown
is it still my mother's daughter
or is this the vile creature they have always told me i possessed
i will protect you it says
as it burries my mother's daughter
mourns, lays a flower on her grave
with gentle hands
"sleep"
"i will protect you"
.
.
i love you it says
as it takes over me
holds me down, strangles me
with vindictive hands
"die"
"i love you"
i don't love it
i can't love it
the language it speaks sounds foreign
ebbing and flowing, like a serpent
weaving its way in my ear
and feeding on my brain
the language of flowers i taught myself
now long forgotten
my soul sits quietly
as my world shatters
defeated
her cries unheeded
subdued by the force of its darkness
the hands that nurtured
now wreaks havoc
the heart that loved
now rots
oh darling girl
i am sorry
i am sorry
how did i get here?
how did i get here?