THE FOLLOWING POEM WAS SELECTED IN WINGWORD POETRY PRIZE 2023 LONGLIST.

The night I thought I would die

After the nightmare that choked me like a deja vu

A nightmare I had lived before

Lived once physically and a million times in my head

Nothing felt worth saving me from dying

Just a surge of anxiety attack up from my brain to my ends

The noises getting louder and louder beating against my skull

My body engulfing in pain

Undesirable thoughts making a room in my mind

My peace sinking in the ocean of unconscious overthinking

And sleep was not kind enough to visit my home

Maybe because I didn’t change the address on my sleep note

That summer night I was convinced I was going to die

The whole body consumed in pain

Constant heart palpitations and sweat in my veins

Shaking hands and pulsating nerves

Cold feet and sweaty palms

Red face and ears of fire

Migraines and unlimited tears

Chapped lips and bleeding nose

Breathless gasps and blurred visions

Voiceless throat and blue fingernails

Loneliness and the traumatic memories

That summer night I was convinced I was going to die

Having no one to call

and the ones I had

were too precious to disturb at that hour

But the universe finds the way to keep you

Air finally filled my lungs

And sleep showed mercy to my dreams

Love in the form of birds and kindness in the form of my friends

showed up at my window.