THE FOLLOWING POEM WAS SELECTED IN WINGWORD POETRY PRIZE 2023 LONGLIST.

I wish not for the years to come to be full of warmth

I wish not for them to make me whole again

I don’t seek battles unfought

Or victories unearned

Though I do seek the vigor to carry on

These burdens of mine,

To bear arms once more,

To fight and lose, if loss it must be.

But to fight, until it is my time.

I wish not for the years to come to come bearing gifts,

Though I wouldn’t mind a present or two,

It would seem impudent to rely on fortune much longer

Though it would be easier to.

I wish not for the years to come to forge me anew,

I’ve become a man of many pieces,

Some I carry with me,

And some I leave behind.

They’ve made me who I am, the smiles, the sorrows, even days of staring into nothingness.

Though some growth I wouldn’t mind.

I wish not for the years to come to make me forget the ones gone by.

I wish not for them to clean a slate I’ve been drawing on for so long

I’ve drawn with blood, sweat and tears.

I do not wish for them to remove stains of unfinished drawings of old,

They’re just as much a part of me,

Though I do seek, that these years to come,

Would make them hurt less on the eyes.

I wish not for the years to come to make me happy, they cannot bring me joy.

I must do that myself.

Though I do seek someone to share it with,

And I do wish happiness was easier to find,

I wish not for the years to come to make me whole again.

I just wish they be kind