THE FOLLOWING POEM WAS SELECTED IN WINGWORD POETRY PRIZE 2023 LONGLIST.
Loss is a tragedy
Every single time
No matter how much
Of it becomes a pattern
Or a part of life
You cannot see
the wounds
You Cannot hear
the screams
Still, more than you can ever imagine
Loss hurts
Caged like a prisoner,
In a foreign body,
Adroitly witnessing.
An impostor,
to my restless thoughts.
A deep wound
Like an object
Strikes my body
and only I get to watch
watch and feel
the Deep cuts
and broken bones
Constructing me frail,
so accessible
I gladly let it
Pierce my skin
While I twist in pain
Abandoned and alone
I am a spectator
a spectator of my pain
Closely watching
a Pattern
of lying and deception
Now I lie, Shattered,
Shattered next to my open wound
I feel everything
Blood running deeply through my nerves
Nerves running diagonally from my brain
on to the neck and stomach
and yet I feel so numb
Like I have been buried
for so long
but sometimes
sometimes you can watch too
my outbursts
my withdrawal
my insomnia
my denial
lasting for months
months and years
do you see it?
do you see how my body is holding on,
tightly to my heart,
In fear that it might shatter,
Shatter And fall apart
Bound so firmly,
I'm engulfed
Engulfed by the weight,
Suffocated by the grip of loss,
And I'd bear the stains.