My Mother - Neelima Chakraborty

THE FOLLOWING POEM BY NEELIMA CHAKRABORTY FROM FARIDABAD WON THE FIRST PRIZE IN WINGWORD POETRY PRIZE 2024- SUMMER CYCLE.

My mother lives in a different time.

I in the present,

She, the past.

She smells of old books

that gathers dust

in the forgotten shelves.

I tuck the priceless tablet

away from the notebooks bare,

away from her death stare.

Her tongue unfolds

a mellifluous melody

popular sometime in the 60s.

I sink in the staccatos

of pop and metal,

The crash and burn

of the deranged ensemble.

We dwell in different times.

She and I.

She in the past,

I, the present.

Like a broken record player,

she plays the past on loop,

enmeshed in the tape

of distorted truth.

Clutching at straws,

she holds on to the yore.

The memories seem more real

than the real to her.

Her love warrants

no show of tactile affection.

She has learnt from the best-

her mother (my grandmother),

a strict disciplinarian.

But in the midst of the chores

and the whirring of machines

and the sputtering of seeds

melding with the sweating veggies,

she carefully watches

from behind the half-drawn curtains.

Everything:

what I do,

when I wrinkle my nose

or wring my wrists out of anger,

my swagger on hitting a new high,

my crumpled brow on the brink of low,

when I scrape into the jeans

that miraculously fits,

when the inner Shakespeare

conjures verses obscure.

A constant check:

did I get hurt?

did I take the meds?

did I do this or that

and that and that?!

As life speeds,

she slows down for me

to tie my laces

and cheer on with glee.

My needs, her universe—

encircles her existence.

When I grew my wings,

She was proud

for a moment,

She was baffled

next minute.

"Doesn't she need me anymore?

Will she drift apart? Is this it?"

My wings became her eyesore.

Her wrinkled fingers held onto the boat

until the day,

she let me go.

Our times, similar.

Yet never the same.

It intersected, briefly.

Till it bobbled away.

Since then,

she has despised the present.

A reminder

of the treacherous transient.

And the past?

It is safely tucked away

in the glass jars

in the fading scars

in the folds of albums

in the malfunctioning VCRs.

Sometimes, enraged,

she unleashes the hurt

in broken words

glued together with dirt.

"You are no better than I,

My modest well serves me well

unlike the princely pond

that runs you dry," she says.

Yet prays

for my succesful swim

in the same.

She frustrates me,

confuses me,

overwhelms me every day.

Then all of a sudden,

without any rhyme or reason,

she yells

and yells some more with passion.

Yet

prepares my favourite meals

for hours

with utter devotion.

My friends

become hers too.

My foe,

her sworn enemy.

My needs, her universe—

eats into her existence.

Every moment.

Her boon, her bane.

Our minds alike yet different,

rest...all the same.

ABOUT THE POET

Neelima Chakraborty is the second prIze winner of the 2024 Wingword Poetry Prize (summer cycle) for her poem ‘My Mother’, receiving a cash prize of INR 30,000. Basking in the beauty of Nature, Neelima draws inspiration from her surroundings for her creative work. Of late, she has been enamoured by the different hues that colour the horizon at odd hours of the day— a perfect contrast to the hullabaloo of the jaded lives dwelling within the cocoons of myriad expectations. An alumnus of the University of Calcutta, she enjoys exploring the world of Postmodern literature. She has taught English Language and Literature at esteemed schools in Kolkata. Currently nurturing young minds at Modern Delhi International School, Faridabad, she finds peace and tranquility in the rhythmic cadence of poems and reflective pieces, viewing them as a therapeutic medium. Her works have previously been published in Teesta Review (an online biannual journal of poetry) and Erothanatos (a peer-reviewed quarterly journal).