THE FOLLOWING POEM WAS SELECTED IN WINGWORD POETRY PRIZE 2023 LONGLIST.
No, i was never addicted
To the taste of your sugar.
You made me swallow it
When i didn't ask for it
I resisted
I denied
I fought back.
But you held my hand
Rubbed your thumb
On my ring finger
Anti clockwise
Like you know all of me-
My code
My wounds
My medicines.
You infected me
By penetrating
Through my skin
Invaded my insides
Restrained my blood.
The strain of your bacteria
Could obliterate my antibiotics.
Like my white blood cells
Could not identify
Your disguised contamination.
You fed me the sucrose
Right from your lips.
I did not require
Another drug addiction.
But you forced
Until i could feel
The rush of-
Dopamine. Serotonin. Oxytocin.
I soon became an animal
Who was addicted to you
Who would kill, if needed
To get the taste of your sugar.
You were waiting for this moment
Were you not?
You untied my hands
Unlocked the door
Asked me to leave.
Gave me freedom
When i did not know
What to do with it.
Now i am astray
With my body trembling
Devoid of your sugar
Struggling with the withdrawal
Waiting to take my last breath.