My Devices Control Me | Shalini Chhabra

THE FOLLOWING POEM WAS SELECTED IN WINGWORD POETRY PRIZE 2023 LONGLIST.

My devices complete me

I think

I have forgotten what it is like

To think ‘just with my mind’

My devices are like an extension of my brain

Hosting memories

And a one step away search

I register sound of a notification

Much before the sound of the sparrow that perched.

In any conversation,

I have words on the tip of my tongue, well almost

But I hardly can say it through and through

If I am stuck for a second

Google comes to my rescue

Ensuring I don’t trouble my mind a lot

I take this help unapologetically

Without a doubt

I hear people around

But I seldom really listen

Because the reels in my phone

Have me engaged and smitten

With half hearted attention

And earplugs-in

added with

Almost zilch observation

I walk around.

I haven’t been hit by a vehicle so far

Makes me astound

Losing my train of thought

Is an often occurrence in life

Anxiety, panic

Seem to be my partners for life

When I am listening to you

My mind is hardly in ‘that moment’

I am like a moon of thought

Oscillating between full and crescent

These devices surely give us a long vision

But a callous nearby sight

My shallow opinions

Are just a google way

Blurring my wrong and right

And, I don’t seek mental help

Because it plays down the

happy illusion I have built

I don’t apologize, I don’t confess

I prefer my old friend guilt

You know,

Not just me,

But a thousand clones of me

Though we are all

drowning in this abyss together

But no one seems to be keen

to swim out from this pretentious sea.

Dear reader, care to drive me out

to an island where I am just me

Where I feel the winds

the sun

and the laps of the sea

Where I control my devices

and the devices don't control me.