Less of Me | Siya Sawhney

THE FOLLOWING POEM WAS SELECTED IN WINGWORD POETRY PRIZE 2023 LONGLIST.

What do you do
When you keep giving too much of yourself
To someone who can only accept too little?
What do you do when you have a bouquet of flowers in your arms
But no hands reaching out for them,
Should I just stand by your doorstep,
Waiting for the petals to wilt before knocking on your door?
What do you do when you’re too much for someone
Who can only take in too little?

Instead of gifting you poetry in the small decorative bag
That you once told me reminded you of your mom’s rangoli,
I’ll text you good night
And go to bed trying not to think of you,
Trying to be less for you.
Instead of learning the words to all your favourite Prateek Kuhad songs,
I’ll play the first suggestion on Apple Music
And say I forgot you liked Hindi music.
I’ll tell you I forgot your regular coffee order,
I forgot your sister’s name,
I forgot your birthday,
I forgot it all.

I’ll try to be less.
I’ll try to give you less of me.
I can be anything you want me to be;
Just tell me you want me.