You asked me what I would do if I didn't see you again.
Maybe I will miss you,
Maybe I will cry,
Or maybe I will just come to the house we called 'home'.
Your coffee cup will still be in the kitchen counter
I will hold the blue mug and see you left a little bit of it at the bottom,
I will sip the cold leftovers.
It was brewing hot when you were here,
Now it's just blue.
Our dog will be just wagging its tail ; waiting for you to come home.
But you won't.
Ever.
I will have to break it to him.
He will stop having food for a day or two
Then will eventually give in to survival principles.
This is what we all do at the end right?
Survive?
I will forget to water the plants, the house will lose it's green
While I lose my yellow
And everything turns grey.
Your shirt will be lying on the couch,
Still smelling like you.
I will find the pair of earrings, I wanted so badly, in your pocket.
Maybe I will wear it and stand in front of the mirror,
Expecting someone to come and kiss my earlobes.
The windows of your room will still be open,
The wind-chime will chime in with a good feng-shui inside,
All the pictures framed in our room will make me realize that,
I was building sand castles of dreams just for you to destroy it once again.
I will see a paper stuck in your typewriter,
You started writing a poem;
Was it about me? For me?
I guess you always had a habit of leaving things midway.
I will clean your ashtray and keep the new pack of cigarettes beside it.
I will lie down on your side of the bed
Just to try to see things from your perspective for once.
Then I will realize how your side of the bed will never be warm again.
I will remember touching your face for the last time,
Your eyes shut, lips a fading pink, hands holding mine.
This is the only bed i can't share with you, no matter how much I want to.
A tear drop will roll down my face and no one will wipe it off,
Alexa will still be playing the old Bollywood playlist -
'तुम इन सबको छोड़के कैसे कल सुबह जाओगी
मेरे साथ इन्हें भी तो तुम याद बहुत आओगी'
I will pause the song and go to sleep,
Knowing we will be together again someday.