my davinci my love, davinci your words were like sugar to me until they weren’t and until they were again and until i had no clue what they were until they just made sense to me until they felt like home, my home
there is so much pain so much agony so much trepidation in loving you but i’d take it, i’d take it through the day and night even if the world were against me heck, i’d take it if you were against me
for you my davinci you’ve made me laugh till my stomach hurt made me lay curled up in my own puddle of tears made every organ in me burn with raging jealousy when it was not for me to be, made my skin shiver with goosebumps every time you touched made me stay up nights with throbbing eyes with a pacing heart
for knowing that you live in the same parallel is solace alone to me
there is a crawling uneasiness within me that pangs all over me all around me till i stand desolate for the unmatched fear of never being yours plagues me
countless mistakes repulse regrets surround you my davinci breaking every inch of my composure i’ve left behind so much of my sanity vanity for a tinge of sense of sanctuary if that means it is you
here, my dearest davinci i despise myself a little more every day you’re another foot away
for my davinci loving isn’t easy i’ve clenched my soul can’t you see?
to know you’ve teared because of me is like a thousand needles grinding into my fingernails
i’ve never said so nor perhaps will ever to you but my davinci my love, davinci you’re the sweetest disguise of empathy to me the hardest to resonate
to find solace with me isn’t child’s play crippling anxiety thundering questions numerous doubts cloud around me i wouldn’t dare ask you to bare it and i honestly do not think you ever should
i’m a nocturnal animal in my own phase i do not know if you’ll ever really know the butterflies you bring in me there is so much hammered self-respect swallowed pride neglected health
i do not know where i stand as an individual anymore
to know there is a future, a future for just you and me and me and you is a piece of heaven the sense of conviction is the scent of luxury
dear davinci, my davinci, by when this storm ends i wish you’re mine and only mine and i’m yours and only yours and i only hope we learn to cherish ourselves the way we talked about to wake up to the success of our yesterdays and our tomorrows i hope we become us the way we talk about us the way we reek of us the way people see of us i hope we become us, of so bloody in love