Wanting fate

A hazy surrounding I was looking to

and a depressing thought comes through.

What if I'm not present, there'll be no change,

the world will remain strange. Anyways, people linked to me,do not pay heed,

to my problems whereas I listen to them indeed.

I hide my solitudiness pretending I'm busy,

the pain is trapped, lately I became so dizzy.

I'm so in need of escapism,

and it's not just a aphorism.

This one is going to be a little dark,

you are going through my character arc.

This state is killing me and I want to die,

my soul wants to come out, I am not going to lie.

The only man who cared for me has gone forever,

my strength is running out, but I want him whatsoever.

Its been days, but I miss him a lot,

no one is going to fill up my father's spot.

Sympathized my many,but can feel none,

I just need a person to make sure I'm not done.

I do want to share these thoughts,

but I cannot,

everyone has some problem or maybe a lot.

With tears coming out,I write these lines,

wondering when my life will actually be mine's.

My acquaintance think of me as a joke,

they just don't know I'm so broke. Deprived of love I've always been, introspecting, I am a messed up teen. Happy life has always been a plea,

but now I want to set free.