THE FOLLOWING POEM WAS SELECTED IN WINGWORD POETRY PRIZE 2023 LONGLIST.
keep your strength
tied tightly to your bones.
do not let it escape
through your tears
and despair
and vanish in a sigh.
you need to hold it close
and feed it
with the thought of you
getting past this, yourself.
people always say
they are going to help.
very few do.
so its prudent
to be your own hero.
your own goddess
and use every fibre
to hold onto that dying strength within
that hasn't been fed for days
with any consideration
for its presence.
pull it out.
look at it.
that mangled shrivelled
ball of nothingness
is your force.
your rib cage
has kept it guarded
from your own thoughts on life.
it shrank
from the darkness of your mind
but it refused to leave.
it will stay
if you just see it.
it needs to be seen
just like everything else in life.
love is demonstrative.
it needs just a nudge
but strength and hope
lie quietly in your vertebrae
waiting for you to call them
for a meal
with despair and tears for dessert.
they will eat that
to swell
and become pink
with fresh blood.
your blood.
and settle in between your eyelashes
so you can see the light.
they will pull back
the curtains of darkness
and clean with vigour
so your mind's room
looks like a new place to live.
call them forth.
dust them out.
fatten them with your mind's
wanderings.
and they will turn out to be
the companions you were seeking all along.
they live inside of you.
and you are their force to survive.
quench yourself
with the waters of
strength within
that has drunk
your tears to live.
call to it.
call to them both.
they always come when you are
ready to fight life.
and my lovely,
they always win.