In Search of Beauty | Kausalya Saptharishi

I emerged from my mother’s womb,

long and crumpled like a purple ribbon,

the colour of an overcast inky sky

People tittered: She is not like her mother,

Beautiful like early dawn or luminous like saffron milk

She is so dark, they whispered

It’s a pity—to be coffee-hued is her blemished destiny

The older I grew, the darker I got

And there was no respite from people’s barbs

She is the colour of brinjal, said some

No, no, make that fried brinjal, giggled the fairer ones

I stared hard at the mirror and truth stared back at me

There was no denying the colour of my skin

That defined me, robbed me of my true identity

A lover may have described it as silken mahogany

Or the amber shadows of falling dusk

But, alas, there was no lover in sight

Only acid tongues from where the barbs fell thick and fast

Soon it was time to find a man for me

Wanted: fair, fair, fair!

Screamed matrimonial ads

Fair in four weeks, promised fairness creams

I tried them all, but in vain

for my skin tone obstinately remained the same

Is she fair? asked boys’ parents

Err…no, but she is slim, said mine with hope

But we want tall, slim and fair, they insisted

While their mocha-coloured son blandly looked away

with fantastical dreams of a different bride

Repeatedly I got rejected

in the arranged marriage ruckus

Like damaged goods strewn on a factory floor

Or failed recruits shown the door

One day I broke down

and to the heavens cried:

Are only fair damsels welcome in this world?

Is dark not beautiful, for you made me?

Tell me, oh God, answer me!

A divine voice spoke in my dreams:

I created you my child for the world to see

What great beauty lies in darkness too

The moon shines brighter in a raven sky

And there will be no day without night

If there is no black

Can chalk be seen?

If there is no granite

Temple goddesses shall not be

If not for coal

Where will white diamonds be?

A slithering dark snake

is a thing of beauty

it evokes power, and contains mystery

Of all my creations on this earth,

You count amongst the most beautiful

For there are fair maidens aplenty I know

But rare, like black pearls, are dark ones like you

If you are ridiculed for being dark

The problem lies with them, and not you

So banish this thought from your head

And be proud of your ebony skin instead!

I awoke from my dream and ran to my Mother

Tell me, are you sad for having a dark daughter like me?

She embraced me in her warm sari folds and said:

It’s only the world that sees you through coloured lens

For a Mother’s eyes know no colour, my child

When I first laid eyes upon you,

You were more resplendent than the seven seas

I’ve told you before, I'll tell you again:

Why do you need to be fair

When your skin is already like burnished gold?

Why then, Mother, do men reject me?

Does my worth rest on my complexion only?

Remember, my child,

The man who’ll finally claim your hand

Will have the keen eye of a jeweler

And the wisdom of an ancient tree

He’ll know to pick the rarest of gems

From the assembly line clutter of fair ones

Finally it all made sense to me

Beauty is not always ivory

It can also be ebony

Dark is beautiful, dark is honey

Dark is beautiful, dark is me